Want Something Funny to Write About?

Well, there are a whole lot of blog ideas out there on the grand interwebs, and I would say about 0.01% of them are helpful.

“Write about something that is important to you,” they say. I have been very particular about NOT writing about politics on my blog (even during these trying times). Well, not outright anyway.

“Write about something that happened to you,” they say. There’s not much I want to share about my life, and very little that anyone would find interesting anyway. Most of my thoughts are embedded in the poetry, short stories, rants, and other things I post.

“Write a review,” they say. My reviews turn out to be a little rant-y, and I don’t think I’ve ever reviewed anything that I like.

The rest are great ideas for your business blog, or your “niche.” What’s a niche and how the hay do I get one?

And the worst part is, none of these topics give much of an opportunity for a laugh. So, without further ado, I present some questions that may lead to something spectacular:

1. If you could marry a(n)…which one would you marry? Why?

…actor/actress? …book character? …movie villain? …kitchen appliance? …color? …political party? …kind of shoe? Don’t use any logic that a normal person would be able to relate to. Personify! Show off your creativity!

2. If your life was a cup, what kind would it be?

A champagne flute? Plastic Ikea? A Dr. Pepper can? Could be, more literally, what you/your life is filled with, or something else.

3. If you painted your ceiling, what would it end up looking like?

We’re not all Michelangelos. Your reincarnation of the Sistine chapel might not be perfect.

4. If a celebrity (of your choice) were to tag your wall, who would it be and what would it look like?

It might not even be with spray paint. For example, Kanye West might superglue pictures of himself to your wall. Martha Stewart would install a home organization system. Etc etc.

5. Write an ad for a product that should (or shouldn’t) be.

How about something to permanently pinch your lips into that perfect duck shape, or get your hair to stick straight up ten feet? It doesn’t have to be designed to make you more attractive, maybe even something to make you less appealing to the people you want to attract.

6. Start out with an absurd sentence.

The monk, who had spent nearly an entire day sweating in a closed space which smelled suspiciously of tomato paste, finally got one of those deep nostril breaths that only came with air that didn’t smell like tomato paste.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to learn the Macarena, Tabitha thought, stroking her temples with two long rubber spatulas; she had bought them earlier that day on clearance at Target and was feeling rather like a rocket scientist herself.

“Writing didn’t used to be such a struggle,” the venerated blogger whispered into my ear with a long, raspy voice that suggested the end of a heroine, “But more like a joy, a form of love.”

Let me know if you use any of these suggestions!

Ciao for now,



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