We all know that Santa’s a pretty chill guy. He can fly around so fast that he can get to everyone on Earth in the entire world in one night. I don’t mean to sound out of line, but that whole North Pole thing is pretty swag. (Or am I too white to say it…)
But by gosh, what would the world be like if Santa wasn’t so cool? What if he looked at the nice list, huffed, “I don’t have time for all of them!” and turned half the names to the naughty list? What if he started laying off elves just to line his own pockets? What if he discriminated against Rudolph and wouldn’t let him guide his sleigh? I don’t think I’d like that Santa very much.
Santa could give up on us that easily, if he became corrupt. It would be so easy for him to do. If he was more human than elf, he would see his power and force world leaders to do his bidding, with a promised reward of toys for all the little children on Christmas. Then he would relocate to fourth-rate sweatshops and have them make fifth-rate toys, one per kid, and only the kids in those countries who complied would get presents. That would be a sad, sick world.
So if any of you readers know Santa, please let him know how much I appreciate his cool-ness.
Because he really is that cool.
Ciao for now,