Why I Adore Dodie Clark


Dodie Clark is a British YouTuber and overall wonderful human being. Her videos showcase breathtaking emotional honesty as well as her astounding musical abilities. I first heard of Dodie about a year ago, when I was exposed to the song “Sick of Losing Soulmates,” and, in the best way possible, her lyrics (paired with her soft and pained vocals) absolutely shattered me.

At the time, I was in the throes of grief after a breakup that pulled from me yet another best friend. Consequently, when Dodie sang:

We will grow old as friends, I’ve promised that before
So what’s one more?
In our grey-haired circle, waiting for the end

I knew she had been through what I was (and, well, still am) going through. As I listened to more of her songs and dived into her vlogs, I realized that her hurt and my hurt had a great deal of overlap––she had felt discarded, useless, desperate. And, as the video for her song “Would You Be So Kind” reveals, she has felt hope despite the hurt, allowing herself to be vulnerable only to be hurt again, and then hoping again after the experiencing more hurt. She had been pushed away by people she loved deeply, who she thought on fondly, that she wasn’t ready to leave.

But, despite her pain, she is still a marvel. She is incredibly talented and she has survived so much. And, to put cherry on the sundae, she is beautiful despite the self-esteem issues she presents playfully in “My Face” (and I’ll admit that her channel aesthetics were a part of the hook).

Everything I knew about the pain she sang about reflected the pain of my moment, and yet she was still an amazing person.

Maybe I was still an amazing person.

Dodie showed me it was okay to feel incomplete, like a “6/10”––that my feelings did not undermine my worth in any way, even if I wasn’t always strong.

And I’m almost starting to believe that love might be worth the hurt.

I adore Dodie Clark, unequivocally. My heart is Dodie yellow. Even if you don’t feel an intense emotional connection to her messages, her cutesy and/or heartbreaking songs are still worth a listen. There’s no time like the present to tune into one of the most riveting humans on the planet.

Ciao for now,
Mikki

moving on: A Poem


 

after the party ends,
the piñata, battered blue,
red, and yellow, must not bemoan
the festering emptiness
that has supplanted her sweets;
she must instead (ignoring the shrill
of her dismembered flesh
scratching along the sidewalk’s
blistering bumps) recollect herself
and walk home.