1. Having to ask an attractive person how to get to the porta-potties
This actually happened to me yesterday. I wanted to wait for a more sanitary option, but when you gotta go…you gotta go. The restrooms were not openly apparent, and the best bet for finding my way were a pair of blonde guys only slightly older than me. Needless to say, not a happy situation.
2. Saying something really dumb around an attractive person
We’ve all been there. You can see the man/woman of your dreams out of the corner of your eye, trying to keep cool and look hot when something falls out of your mouth that you never meant to let slip. Something like “I don’t care about my grades,” or “Ugly people don’t have souls,” just to be purely hypothetical. There goes every chance you had, you permanently single freak you.
3.Thinking someone is talking to you when they’re not
A little while back someone was making wild hand gestures at me which I couldn’t comprehend. I kept mouthing, “What?” She kept pointing towards me over and over again for reasons beyond my comprehension until she stood up, walked past me, and started talking to the person behind me. Face palm.
4. Not knowing your relatives
I grew up in a situation where my first cousins lived across the country in two directions, and I still can’t tell some of them apart. There’s a good chance that if I saw one of them person, we would be complete strangers and could pass each other without either of us realizing it. If asked to point them out in photographs, I usually fail. It’s not good.
5. Complaining about something when the person you’re complaining to has the same problem only worse
In this situation you’re usually stuck between feeling like a selfish heel or feeling like your companion is trying to one-up you. But, since we’re human, you usually lean towards the selfish heel bit, making life one big bowl full of awkward when you realize your self-pitying is over nothing and you’re probably a terrible person.
This doesn’t complete the list of things that are awkward. Just remember, no matter how embarrassing things get, they will keep coming back and it will only get worse. Your life will always stink, and so will everyone else’s.
Awkwardness? I say bring it on.
Ciao for now,